Frustration Just Ahead

Today i am hoping that if i write my frustrations down it will help me feel better, so here we are:

I am frustrated by the waiting for my portfolio marks and worrying if I pass all of them. I am frustrated with the world and all its constant wars, death and lack of humanity that we all do nothing about.

I am frustrated by people and how easily they break one another’s spirits, how they pass on their insecurities and inadequateness into the lives of those around them.

I am frustrated by my own indecisive about the future; should i do this Honours in Journalism? Should i take the year off? Should I, Should I..... too many options and too little time.

Frustrated by my job, even though I am immensely grateful to have one where I am still helping people all be it indirectly. I can’t help feeling that this is not my calling, it doesn’t motivate me to get out of bed in the morning, it doesn’t bring me the kind of joy i seek.

I feel numb, unappreciated and tired. This might be the end of the year “blues” getting the best of me but as far fetched as it  may sound my body, mind and spirit yearns a holiday without stress or any of the frustrations life brings.  

All of this being said i know that i am frustrated by external factors outside of my control as well as internal factors that i can control if i worked at it. I know that i need to simplify and extradite the noise in my life so i can redefine my balance.....Yes all these things i know however right now I yearn silence and none of the complexities of the world, a book and my sofa for a few days and i will be right as rain. 

The end of one road, the beginning of another!!

This week a very good friend and university class mate set off for a new adventure, the island lifestyle in the land of smiles she tells me. She packed up her life, sold everything she owned and headed off to Phuket in pursuit of her dream and bring her closer to owning a B&B on an island somewhere.

It then dawned on me that since we have all finished our final exams and handed in our final portfolios this really marks an ending to a chapter in our lives.We have spent 4 years (on and off) many times thinking we would not make it being bombarded with assignments, having full time jobs and lives.

I am so proud of her and all the other people i have been privileged to spend these years with and call friends.  We have shared so much laughter, cried together at loss and spent so many weekends working on deadlines (right now it seems like it was ages ago).

On this journey we have learnt to live without regrets and  to get up whenever we get knocked down by a bad grade or a stint of gossip. We have learnt to nurture friendships and value good relationships. Getting here has made it very clear to all of us that nothing is impossible as long as you keep working at it. 

On a personal note, the future looks exciting (I foresee many new journeys and learning curves just around the corner). 

The road to get here has been long and winding with many breaks in between but as i think back its been worth it.

Today's Thought

"Life is a long lesson in humility" 

James M Barrie 

It may not always be easy to see but everything in this life is there to teach us something different. It might be how to live, how to treat our fellow human beings, how to love or even just simply how to believe. 

"JOY"

This morning driving to work i was reminded that "Joy" can be found in the most simplistic things, it's all in how we look at it. The Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore once wrote: 

And Joy is Everywhere;
It is in the Earth's green covering of grass;
In the blue serenity of the Sky;
In the reckless exuberance of Spring;
In the severe abstinence of gray Winter;
In the Living flesh that animates our bodily frame;
In the perfect poise of the Human figure, noble and upright;
In Living;
In the exercise of all our powers;
In the acquisition of Knowledge;
in fighting evils...

Joy is there Everywhere.

 

The JOYS of my youth

Been asked recently what is the greatest thing I have ever done??? This made me think as far back as my 26 years on this earth would let me, jeez what have I done...what am I doing...and what am leaving behind if I go.

So hence here I sit trying to recall the many joys of my youth and put them into articulate sentences.

I have been blessed enough to travel some of the world; England, Norway, Denmark, Amsterdam, Germany, Russia, Tibet, Australia and every province that my South African home has provided me with.

I have slept on trains heading to destinations I to this day cannot even pronounce, I have sang and danced in cultural festivals, been to many temples and churches across the globe. I have sat with friends on a boat drifting on the Sandefjord river, watching the sunrise.

I have built relationships that have stood the test of time and distance, I have seen the effects of wars and genocide first hand. I have worked in refugee camps, spent my time at the Blue Cross and had my religious awakening in the company of one of the most enlightening religious men I know.

In my youth I have had the opportunity to find myself, to define my own space and live within it. To see the world as both big and small, to change lives and have my own transformed in the process.

I have cried great tears of heartache and just as many of joy and passion.I have lived without regret or the defines of my culture, race or creed.

So the greatest thing I have ever done is to find myself and it would not have been possible without all the experiences and all of the people along the way.