On being a Pencil "IN BETWEEN"

Mother Teresa once said; We are all "little pencils in the hand of a writing God, who is sending love letters to the world". I am unsure of how my love letter will end but i know it will conclude whether today, next month or 20 years from now it will inevitably end. If there are two things in all the world that i am extremely sure of, it is that we are born and that we die.

That being said the "in between" is where all the living really happens. It is where we learn; where we teach; where we get to see the world through books, through travel, through each other and the thousands of movies we watch.

The "in between" is where we learn the differences between love, hate, disdain and compromise; it is where we build relationships that either grow into life long friendships or into fond memories. It is where we grow, change, evolve and on occasion get to recreate ourselves a few times over just because.

The "in between" is where we meet God, where we debate the varied realms of religion, faith and the ever contested afterlife. It is where we have these personal journeys to find self, loose self and then eventually find the 'real' self all in one life time. It is where we find purpose. 

My take is that the love letter is probably all of the "in between" moments lived, the subtle moments that stays with you through out the journey and not just the ones that have you saying "AHA I get it".

Something every MAN should hear!

The politics of the Underdog

When did our political system become such a joke? 

There has clearly somewhere already been a decision made that Zuma should not pay back the money from his massive Nkandla Estate, built with millions of tax payer money. These ad hoc committees seem to clearly be going nowhere slowly, with MPs walking out because witnesses cannot be called in to give account to this spending and with the ANC members being solely left at the table to decide the fate of the man who inevitably signs their pay checks. Why are we giving one party so much power; I thought we lived in a democratic country where the "people" in principle rule through the parties that we vote and place in power. 

I am also a tad confused at how many committees and reports are in circulation at the moment on this Nkandla Estate. Do we really need that many and to waste more money. In my head it is rather simple, the president committed a crime so he should return the money. I am sure he, his many wives and children (with all those lucrative jobs) has the money jointly to return it to the government coffers. 

That money could have been used to improve our education system-transport those damn textbooks, it could have been used to pay for 3 years of University for approximately 34 underprivileged students, it could have probably fed 24 500 and more families who live under the poverty line for a few days. It could have been used to refinance some of our dormant industries and would have in turn created the much needed jobs people between 18-40 yearn for in communities. 

I am grappling to understand the notion of unquestioned power which is clearly what we give these political figures. 

Standing in the Dark - Lawson

It might be an old one but definitely one of my favorites!

Mu(sick)

A lot may have issues with the content but i think its Brilliant!

Such a beauty!

Oh, AFRICA!

I have been reading up on groups like Boko Haram and i find it very interesting that to "make a point" to the world they tend to kill innocent people. I wonder how a nation justifies sacrificing its brothers and sisters for a war, a personal jihad, a genocide that i am sure they do not even understand.

Nigeria and its people have been historically divided into the North and South for centuries due to colonialism and the varied manifestations of British rule and western influence, these wars have been going on for decades just in different shades. Atane Ofiaja in his article "To Understand Boko Haram, the West Must look more closely at itself than at Nigeria" portrays this divide and puts a context to the situation that i did not understand before. It has made me re-look the positions that people are placed in during times of crisis.

For instance most of those soldiers in Boko Haram are not there because they will die for the cause as obscured as it may seem; granted some are driven by pure hatred while others are there because of fear, because they may not know better. Some are there waving a gun and carrying a label of Islamist radicals because of poverty and the promise of payment and food for loyalty, some of them may even have other mouths to feed or keep alive.

The corrupt systems and leaders of Nigeria like that of many other African countries trample on the poor and the destitute fueling a war that kills its own, drives its own into modern day slavery and displaces men, women and children from their homes. As Africans we allow these systems and caliber of leaders to continue, we allow our languages to be diluted and our cultures to be modernized by the West. We allow ourselves, our children and their children to be global citizens forgetting that we are African citizens too.

I do not condone Boko Haram, i believe they should be stopped and those girls should be returned to their families however the reality is that when they are another groups will rise and so the cycle will continue until the head and not the tail is severed. I believe that we need to acknowledge that this situation is not in isolation, as Africans we have in many ways failed ourselves.

Maybe we should not just be trending #bringbackourgirls but #givebackAfrica, just a thought!

Make it COUNT

Since the election season is in full swing one cannot help but marvel at how talented politicians or at least most of them are at the gift of the gab. They all want to sell something for that seat in parliament, be it their party campaign or manifestos which are all laced with promises. They all in one way or another speak housing, speak unemployment, speak education, safety and family playing on the hopes and dreams of ordinary South African men and women who will march out in droves to voting stations on May 7 to cast that ballot for change.

My issue is not the campaigning per say, it is the falseness of it all. I cannot help but wonder if these politicians know what being unemployed is like for the ordinary men and women who on a daily basis need to search, beg and borrow in order to feed their families that next meal. I wonder if they know what its like for a child to sit in a class room not having eaten a meal the evening before.

I wonder if any of their immediate family members are on those housing waiting lists that have been floating since the 1980's. I wonder if they know what it's like for those who want an education but cannot get it because in all honesty there just isn't enough bursaries or educational loans out there that caters for individuals regardless of their racial merit or biography, in addition there are also just not enough seats in our Universities to cater for every single person regardless of how desperately they yearn for it.

As Archbishop Desmond Tutu indicated a few days back as a nation we should vote with our heads; we should not falsely be led by loyalties that we cannot understand, we should look at all the facts, review all of the information and then vote. It is your vote after all, so make it count!

Already a Year

I cannot believe it has already been a whole year since my mom has been gone, some days like today are honestly harder than others.

Through this experience i have realized that when someone you love dies it seems as if time in itself stands still. For me silence and a quite sadness descended as i longed for another day and time for one more conversation. It is not easy to understand why God chose to have them leave this earth before we were ready to say goodbye.

Little by little, during this time i have begun to remember that my mom is not just died or gone. She lived and her life gave those around her including me beautiful memories and valuable lessons that we will always have. So today i will grieve that i lost a mother who i dearly miss and the world has lost such an amazing women.

In the same breathe i will also spend it celebrating her life, her sense of humility and her fighting spirit; i will take strength from the fact that i had her for so long before God called her home.

Depending on religious belief whether she is a star in the sky or an angel in heaven, she still remains out there somewhere watching over all those she loves.

INVICTUS

For some reason i find myself thinking of the movie Invictus and found myself stumbling across the poem, if you have watched it you might remember the poem recited by Morgan Freeman close to the end and that it was a favorite of the man he portrayed so well in the movie. I think Obama also makes reference to the poem in his speech at Nelson Mandela's memorial service, especially in the lines, "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.".

The poem was originally written by William Ernest Henley in my opinion to show might in the face of adversity, the Latin meaning for Invictus is after all "unconquerable"!

Between Friends

In light of our recent conversations and since i am the oldest and often most opinionated, I thought it a perfect time to impart some of my 'wisdom' on life. I know our roads will not be the same but who knows these could be used as markers or small road signs along the way.

It is never too late to start something new or different; if you want to do that degree, do it. If you want to learn to ride that bicycle, start now. Postponing might sound easier but what you don’t realise is how fast time goes by and before you realise it your twenties are over and you will be approaching another decade with nothing tangible to show for it. Whether you believe me or not, this here life is short.

Embrace your femininity ladies; being a woman isn't always easy, so you don’t need self hate to break you down even further in a world of negativity. Whether you have curves or not becomes irrelevant when you learn to love who you are. God does not make flaws, he makes us uniquely perfect.

Whether you do it in the benches of a church or alone in your quiet moments, take the time to know God. If there is one thing in this life i have learnt over and over again it is that He is omnipotent (all-ruling), omnipresent (present everywhere), and omniscient (understanding of our intentions even before we are). So when those times get hard remember you are never alone or forgotten.

Find people that you can love; it might sound ironic but love is meant to be shared and given away otherwise it defeats its purpose. So even though you might have been hurt and had your heart stomped on remember that unconditional love that you share with your daughter, sister/s and brother/s, now imagine sharing some of that with the world. The most profound things happen in this life when you are willing to share of yourself.

There is a need for more kindness; so smile at that stranger because there will come a time when you will need that same kind of karma back; speak to the stranger on the bus because right there you might find the different perspective needed to change the world. Kindness is just that simple yet we take it for granted in little ways everyday.

Let me just say that i am without doubt so proud of you, you have grown from the loudest teenagers i have ever met into these incredibly strong young woman and i am glad i have been there through the tantrums, the boy dramas and the lectures (mostly provided by me). I would not trade a minute of our friendship and our fights for in and through them i have learnt that family is not just defined by blood.

At the Gates of the Year

I have been trying to put my year in words but have failed miserably to capture it all until i found the poem below by Minnie Louise Haskins (1875-1957):

GOD KNOWS 

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”

And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart be still:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

So as my journey into 2014 begins, i am humbled by the year i leave behind.  It has been a year that has seen me shed more tears than laughter, a year that has taught me great lessons on loss, life and faith. A year of revelations and one of sincere appreciation for things like life and death.

I don't know what this new year holds but God knows!