Ernestine Johnson - on "The average Black Girl"

She says it so well!

For those of you who do not know who Daisy Bates, Pauli Murray and those infamous women who had a voice and used it are then read The invisible women of the Civil Rights Movement

On being a Pencil "IN BETWEEN"

Mother Teresa once said; We are all "little pencils in the hand of a writing God, who is sending love letters to the world". I am unsure of how my love letter will end but i know it will conclude whether today, next month or 20 years from now it will inevitably end. If there are two things in all the world that i am extremely sure of, it is that we are born and that we die.

That being said the "in between" is where all the living really happens. It is where we learn; where we teach; where we get to see the world through books, through travel, through each other and the thousands of movies we watch.

The "in between" is where we learn the differences between love, hate, disdain and compromise; it is where we build relationships that either grow into life long friendships or into fond memories. It is where we grow, change, evolve and on occasion get to recreate ourselves a few times over just because.

The "in between" is where we meet God, where we debate the varied realms of religion, faith and the ever contested afterlife. It is where we have these personal journeys to find self, loose self and then eventually find the 'real' self all in one life time. It is where we find purpose. 

My take is that the love letter is probably all of the "in between" moments lived, the subtle moments that stays with you through out the journey and not just the ones that have you saying "AHA I get it".

Something every MAN should hear!

Already a Year

I cannot believe it has already been a whole year since my mom has been gone, some days like today are honestly harder than others.

Through this experience i have realized that when someone you love dies it seems as if time in itself stands still. For me silence and a quite sadness descended as i longed for another day and time for one more conversation. It is not easy to understand why God chose to have them leave this earth before we were ready to say goodbye.

Little by little, during this time i have begun to remember that my mom is not just died or gone. She lived and her life gave those around her including me beautiful memories and valuable lessons that we will always have. So today i will grieve that i lost a mother who i dearly miss and the world has lost such an amazing women.

In the same breathe i will also spend it celebrating her life, her sense of humility and her fighting spirit; i will take strength from the fact that i had her for so long before God called her home.

Depending on religious belief whether she is a star in the sky or an angel in heaven, she still remains out there somewhere watching over all those she loves.

Between Friends

In light of our recent conversations and since i am the oldest and often most opinionated, I thought it a perfect time to impart some of my 'wisdom' on life. I know our roads will not be the same but who knows these could be used as markers or small road signs along the way.

It is never too late to start something new or different; if you want to do that degree, do it. If you want to learn to ride that bicycle, start now. Postponing might sound easier but what you don’t realise is how fast time goes by and before you realise it your twenties are over and you will be approaching another decade with nothing tangible to show for it. Whether you believe me or not, this here life is short.

Embrace your femininity ladies; being a woman isn't always easy, so you don’t need self hate to break you down even further in a world of negativity. Whether you have curves or not becomes irrelevant when you learn to love who you are. God does not make flaws, he makes us uniquely perfect.

Whether you do it in the benches of a church or alone in your quiet moments, take the time to know God. If there is one thing in this life i have learnt over and over again it is that He is omnipotent (all-ruling), omnipresent (present everywhere), and omniscient (understanding of our intentions even before we are). So when those times get hard remember you are never alone or forgotten.

Find people that you can love; it might sound ironic but love is meant to be shared and given away otherwise it defeats its purpose. So even though you might have been hurt and had your heart stomped on remember that unconditional love that you share with your daughter, sister/s and brother/s, now imagine sharing some of that with the world. The most profound things happen in this life when you are willing to share of yourself.

There is a need for more kindness; so smile at that stranger because there will come a time when you will need that same kind of karma back; speak to the stranger on the bus because right there you might find the different perspective needed to change the world. Kindness is just that simple yet we take it for granted in little ways everyday.

Let me just say that i am without doubt so proud of you, you have grown from the loudest teenagers i have ever met into these incredibly strong young woman and i am glad i have been there through the tantrums, the boy dramas and the lectures (mostly provided by me). I would not trade a minute of our friendship and our fights for in and through them i have learnt that family is not just defined by blood.

At the Gates of the Year

I have been trying to put my year in words but have failed miserably to capture it all until i found the poem below by Minnie Louise Haskins (1875-1957):

GOD KNOWS 

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”

And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart be still:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

So as my journey into 2014 begins, i am humbled by the year i leave behind.  It has been a year that has seen me shed more tears than laughter, a year that has taught me great lessons on loss, life and faith. A year of revelations and one of sincere appreciation for things like life and death.

I don't know what this new year holds but God knows!

The Art of Letting Go

I am a bit of a control freak, a "need to do it myself" type that likes things mentally organised. I often use perfectly good energy trying to plan, predict and prevent things that i cannot possibly plan, predict or prevent.

I like things compartmentalized, i live with lists and schedules and i rather like it.

Unfortunately the world does not work this way, it is chaotic, scary and sometimes requires us to surrender. Easier said than done, i know.  It is one of the hardest things in the world to let go; of control, of that primal need to ensure safety, love and security.

I have realised in my short span of existence, that surrendering to the unknown is necessary because life is just too big to be placed in a safely padded box.

There are lessons in the out of control moments, the chaotic encounters and in letting go of the need to master it all. A definite sense of freedom and confidence comes from knowing when to cut your losses and move on.

Hey...

My adaptation of Words to Live By

ONE... Give people more than they expect and do it with a smile on your face, because your cheer might be all that they know for that day.

TWO... Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE... Don't believe everything you hear or read, life can sometimes be over exaggerated.

FOUR... When you say, 'I love you,' make sure you mean it and say it as often as you can.

FIVE... When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye and do it because you mean it.

SIX...  Don’t rush life, it will happen even if the timing does not coincide with your plans. God sometimes has different ones for us.

SEVEN... Believe in love even if your heart has been shattered before, it’s all part of the lesson.

EIGHT... Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE... Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN... In disagreements, fight fairly and stand your ground if it’s something you believe in.

ELEVEN... Don't judge people by their relatives, if you do you may miss out on knowing someone great.

TWELVE... Talk slowly, think quickly and learn fast.

THIRTEEN... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN... Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk, so don’t let fear hold you back.

FIFTEEN... Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze because we all need some blessing now and then.

SIXTEEN... When you lose at something, don't lose the lesson from having been there.

SEVENTEEN... Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN... Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. Life is too short to hold onto grudges, you life today and you might be gone tomorrow.

NINETEEN... When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY... Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice and they might need it.

TWENTY- ONE... Spend some time alone to reflect, to review and when needed to make plans so you can redo.

Perspective

It does not take much to be kind,
yet we shy away from it
because somewhere along the line kindness has been mistaken for weakness.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life.
Where they seem half asleep even if they're busy doing things
that they think are important.

This is because they're chasing the wrong things.

The way you get meaning into your life is
by devoting yourself to loving others (whether they love you back or not),
by devoting yourself to the community around you (and not the one you wish you could have)
by devoting yourself to creating something that gives you purpose.

Life does not need to be perfect
in order for you to share it, its in the imperfections
that greatness is found after all.

So in order to find that meaning we all seek
we need to remember to love and to live
without the boundaries, the questions or the regrets.

AHA, finding it.....

At some point in our lives we have all looked for signs; signs on whether we have made the correct choice? signs on whether we can do the job? signs on whether this is it.....

Our search for some divine intervention for that little bit of courage to push on is endless. 

This morning i stumbled onto this picture and it resonate that "This is it", sometimes we cannot see the signs because we are too strung up in the actions or have a preconceived notion of what the sign should be. 

Unfortunately these signs may never come in the ways we want them to, so don't spend all of your time looking for signs that might be right in-front of you; live your life, learn new things, love even when it hurts and soldier on. 

If it ends up being the wrong road start over and consider the past lessons and stepping stones to greater things, this is it afterall.