Unique WAR

“Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues. You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, criticizing, or mocking others. Everybody is fighting their own unique war.”

Not sure who said it but i definitely like it!

My "REVELATION"

I do not want to sound philosophical about life and death but both are fickle things, you think you have it figured out one minute then in the blink of an eye it topples you over for a 10 and you left thinking 'what now?".

I don't think we ever really get it figured out. We deal, we manage and we get on with what needs to be done.

I have an uncle who is very ill at the moment and reflecting back on his role in my life i am struck by how powerful it has been. I remember him as a rough, rouge of a man with a personality that could literally fill a room. He use to barge into my bedroom when i was in my teens and demand to know how i am, he use to sneak me sweet when his wife wasn't looking and because he never had a daughter i always filled that role with giggles and hugs. I have always admired his ability to laugh at life and how he encircled his sisters and would do anything to protect them.

I have not seen him in a long time but on the phone i can tell that in the midst of his illness he has become sullen, like he knows something we don't.  It saddens me that life and the thought of death can do that to a man so brave however in my heart (somehow) i know that he will be okay and get through this stronger than before.

I also realize now that growing up i have been fortunate to have three fathers, one by blood, one by family and another by love. All of these men have played amazing roles in who i am today; they have loved me, laughed with me, nurtured me and supported every decision i have ever made.

Their lives have blessed mine!

The Help

A month or so ago while on holiday i read "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett and for some reason the book has stuck in my subconscious. Four other books later i am still thinking about the journey it took me on. 

Subsequently i have been asked to review the book so here are some highlights from a satisfying read.

I found it to be sad and emotional but a very real in your face reflection of how people had their dignity stripped away from them and how all of that was viewed as acceptable.  The book has the scary ability to pull you into its pages and  the writer captured the era flawlessly.  You could feel the shame, happiness and fears leap off the pages as you reading it.

In the beginning when Skeeter takes on this journey to write the stories of the colored women in her town i don't think she thought that in the process she will also find herself and that is exactly what happens as you read on.  

The book is filled with self discovery as the women in it take risks and in the end you can clearly see "change is coming". With the quirks and humor you also see love, bitterness and dedication as these women soldier on because they have mouths to feed and "white babies" to raise. 

In my personal observation and conversations with others who have read the book i have discovered that if you have a domestic worker or if you know someone that spends their days cleaning up after others this book subconsciously forces you to rethink your behavior towards them. Forces you to consider their burdens too. 

It is a definite good read and you will walk away wiser for each chapter that you dive into. 

Being more....

Someone once told me that "you need to be more of what you want to see in the world, that will make it better".

Safe to say at that point in my life i did not understand the expression or what my very philosophical friend meant by it, I just thought she was being her whimsical self with her anecdotes on life.

But today while doing some preparation work (for my own big step) her words resonated with me once more; "you need to be more of what you want to see in the world..." from this i take that if i want to see goodness and light in this world i need for it to start with me and what i project to the world.  If i want great adventures and new beginnings i need to be open to them, be open to taking a chance and risking it a little.

Not an easy task i know.

As crazy as it may sound this expression reminds me that my projection of life and light to the world will somehow be projected back into my own life, it may not happen in the ways i expect nor will it happen  overnight but it will happen.

I know that i cannot miraculously change the world but my thoughts and my deeds can make it better.

Perspective

It does not take much to be kind,
yet we shy away from it
because somewhere along the line kindness has been mistaken for weakness.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life.
Where they seem half asleep even if they're busy doing things
that they think are important.

This is because they're chasing the wrong things.

The way you get meaning into your life is
by devoting yourself to loving others (whether they love you back or not),
by devoting yourself to the community around you (and not the one you wish you could have)
by devoting yourself to creating something that gives you purpose.

Life does not need to be perfect
in order for you to share it, its in the imperfections
that greatness is found after all.

So in order to find that meaning we all seek
we need to remember to love and to live
without the boundaries, the questions or the regrets.

Do it Anyway....

People are often unreasonable,

illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Teresa 

A little reminder for us all to "do it Anyway" because our relationship with man (each other) is important yet futile but our relationship with God is essential. 

Endless Possibilities

A few weeks ago I attended my Graduation and before the 2 hour procession  I had a chat with a gentleman in a very long line while hunting down our graduation gowns. He was very kind and listened as my nerves got the better of me, he smiled and very confidently said “don’t worry this is only the beginning of greater things”.

A few minutes later gowns in hand we wished each other good luck and parted ways.

Close to the end of the graduation procession they introduced the Doctorate Candidate, to my surprise this was the very same young man that was in the line with me. Upon his introduction they mentioned that he suffers from Dyslexia  and for the last 11 years has been working towards this mile stone in his life, which he reached (with Cum Laude).

The first humble words from his mouth was “without God this would not have been possible” and as I sat their listening to him recall his journey I realised just how right he was because without Gods grace and the people he sends our way at different trying times many of our achievements would not be possible.

This also had me reflecting on the hard roads we often need to take to find ourselves in this world. On what we need to give up in order to move on; on how we sometimes need to first fail and fall in order to learn and rise.

The message to me was somehow clear that in the end its all possible when you believe a little more and push a little harder.

MOM

When I was younger I was very sure I was adopted cause I am nothing like my brother and sister but now years later and many moons wiser I realise that I am indeed my mother’s daughter.

A small tribute to my mom for the many years...

My mom is a bit of an eccentric

Her spirit is wild, free and her advice comes without a fee.

She has taught so many lessons;

about love, life and patience

about growth, forgiveness and peace

Her strength is unimaginable,

she has lived through segregation,

a broken home and an unappreciative husband

Yet her spirit is still intact

And her relationship with God remains a journey she takes on with a smile.

Her home has at some point been refuge

To the homeless and to the broken

She has cooked her meals with love

and with the little she has i have seen her feed every one of her family members.

My mom may not have changed the world for coloured girls like Oprah did, but for me my mom has led the way to greatness.

From her I take my poise,

I take my drive

and my open look on life.

From her I have learnt the beauty of life

and that being different is good
and being me is enough. 

Remembering those we sometimes forget

Four years ago i set foot inside my first prison, the walls were narrow and the gates were high.  I remember the smell of stale air, a sense of hopelessness and the looks of the people saying the same thing. 

I walked in, filled with a bit of fear and a tinge of excitement because i have always wondered if South African prisons are like the ones in movies. It was nothing like the movies; the reality was far worse.

Even though I got to go home after every session, to this day I remember many of their stories.

Some there for crimes that they committed some for the sins of other and many silenced by gangs and the false sense of brotherhood it provides. There I witnessed how fast innocents can be stolen and easily freedom can be forgotten.

The youngest boy was 9, there for murdering someone with a butcher’s knife after being beaten countless times. The oldest 18 there for rape and murder after being so high, he had to prove a point of being “the man” to his friends.

Many of the stories i have heard resonates with me as i look around my surroundings and see the daily fight for survival. Many of them did not ask for the hand that they were dealt, some abandoned to a life on the street with no food or shelter. I am sadden when i think how many of them had their first encounter with the law for taking a bread without having the money to pay for it. Whenever i walk by a child on the street homeless and alone my heart bleeds because i remember the stories of how it began for many of them.

In my four years i have worked with hundreds of young men and women in conflict with the law and sadly many of them will never know true freedom because in prison a different death occurs. It is not the kind known every day by you and me, it is a death of the soul, a death of dreams and hopes because they go to jail as innocents, as children and there they learn a life of gangsterism.

My plea is simple; the next time you see a child on the street begging a hand out give them a meal. The next time you see a young man slipping through the cracks lend them a hand.