Loving this one!

On turning 28

When I was in my early 20's I imagined that at this age I would be settled down with 1.5 kids, a husband and a few pets but here I am a few days after my birthday reflecting on the lessons learnt and how different plans can become. 

It feels like the 28 years might have happened overnight.

I can still remember most of my teens and waiting patiently for 16 to come along then the legal 18. Oh and the infamous 21 and all the thrills and new adventures that my early 20’s brought with it.

It is there that I learned to live, there that I learned to laugh at life and myself from time to time. There that I learnt about love, the kind that hurts and the kind that heals.  There that I set off on adventures that have taken me to distant lands, hidden villages and the little colorful “empire”  I now call home.

The years has come with its ups and downs but it has been really amazing to grow into the person I am now. I have always thought of myself as a quiet soul and an introvert in my own right but with age and some wisdom now I feel like I own my space.

I realise that I am different , that I am unique (so not everyone will get me) and it is okay as long as I am true to myself. 

As for TURNING 28, well it’s just the beginning of a new journey and I know my late 20’s will be filled with discoveries. It will be like searching for treasures on a winding road where i can't see the end just yet but i know its there.

An AHA moment

I was asked out of the blue a few days ago; "How short would your life have to be before you would start living differently today?" 

Even though i know that intellectually each breath could be my last, i still find myself spending an astonishing amount of time thinking about things i cannot change - possible futures, pasts mistakes and what could have been done differently. 

The truth is; the end of our lives is always just one breath away.  I think that for me living habitually is a way of denying this truth.  A way of saying that I have all the time in the world to change, to live differently, to live joyfully, to live meaningfully, to help others, to take risks, to love unconditionally.  

How short would my life have to be?  It already is as short as it could possibly be. 

Taking time...

I have a crazy obsession with lists and getting things done on time but I have recently been feeling very disconnected to myself, impatient with the world and like my life just has an entire list of things i am not ticking off on.

I am not a depressed person and wallowing  in my self pity doesn't really get me anywhere so I have decided to take it to God.

This might sound weird but growing up my mother was religious on teaching us about "quiet time" and "meditation". Now as an adult i think i have lost some of that inner balance and my communication with God has become stifled by everything else life throws my way.

So i am literally taking a step back from myself and the world and letting my impatience go because i really can't control it all. I am also letting God knowingly lead, my plans clearly might not be His. As scary as it is to  hand over the sails of my boat (life); true patience is after all the handing over of my own self-will (that wants to control it all) into His perfect will (that already has a master plan).

 

I..

A little perspective

There is nothing like the near death of someone that you love to give you a little perspective on life and how you live it.

For the last month and a half my mom has been in and out of the doctors office, been put on various treatments and now has a bed in a NO VISITORS ward while they try and find an antibiotic that agrees with her body and will reduce the size of her liver.

I can't imagine how scary it all must be for a women like her who has raised 3 kids, seen 4 grandchildren and a great grandchild into this world (and all the noise it brings) to be so isolated from home. My mom is a home body, give her time in her yard and the company of any one of her sisters and she is in her element.

For me its a different kind of scary because i have never been faced with the thought of loosing my mom until now, i know she won't live forever but i at least hope she will be around to spend a few Christmas's at my house and help to usher my kids into the world so they are as fortunate as my nieces and nephew to call her theirs. Its scary to think how short life is and how we take the time for granted because we think we have plenty of it left, when in essence we don't have much.

I haven't been to see her yet; if i am honest i have just not had the heart to get on a plane and be there among my siblings and to visit her in a hospital of all places. She also tells me it's not necessary that i rush home because she is fine but i know that at the moment she is not fine, so i feel a bit like a bad daughter for not being strong enough to be there alone and be faced with the reality that time might run out sooner than i thought.

So with fear and all i have booked my tickets and gotten the time off work to go home; i am unsure of what to expect, unsure of what my arrival will be greeted with but i look forward to seeing my mother and having her enlighten me with quirky stories and lectures of hospitals and faith.

Some truth...

My Symphony

This morning I woke up with a section of a William Ellery Channing book on repeat in my head; the specific part where he says...

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony."

I realize that this world is filled with people trying to live their lives according to other peoples tunes. Life does not work that way; in the long run you need to find your own melody and take the time to write, direct and produce your own symphony.

It does not need to be bold or fancy, it just needs to your own! 

Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum

Love this song! 

The wretched house hunt

Having spent the last few weeks emersed in a search for a new apartment and still coming out unsatisfied is making me one grumpy young lady - gosh do i HATE it. This search requires of me to be logical and use phases like... "can't live there it has no bus/train route", "can't stay there it is too expensive" and  "the area is a bit scary or there crime stats are too high".

I feel a bit like an old hag (or a grown up); needing to balance finances, logic and the desire for a big garden with some trees and a wooden bench that i can sit on in hot summer day with a book. 

The pictures they use to advertise most of these apartments online was clearly taken like 10 years ago; over the last 2 years i have seen some wretched places and some ghastly expensive ones that makes me cringe and leaves me thinking that monthly rent could have put a child through University or fed a famine.

Finding a cozy place that i can live in for the next year or two and decorate with my bohemian colors, my photographs and my art is becoming a tall order. The optimist in me is becoming a tad pessimistic at not finding the right one that feels like home.

True indeed...

Essential

TRUE...

What matters.....

As long as i keep being me, as long as i keep being true to myself and who i am it does not matter how many jobs i get or don't get. It does not matter how many times i change direction on this journey called life.

None of it matters.

What matters is that i am living in my truth, and the people who need me will find me. And i will find the people i need. Whether it takes a week, a year or 2/3 if its written it will be.

I some how know that I will find the answers I need.
But more importantly, i will find the Questions.

(Thank you Jennifer Pastiloff for the reminder)

Taking Time

Time i Say 

I am a big believer in reflecting on life and taking time out from the hustle and bustle of it. I must admit I don't often get the time or have the energy to sit for hours just pondering on life but this morning i woke up before the crack of dawn with some thoughts/ truths to share.

I feel like life is short for most of us and the more we put off, the more we won't be able to do. It definitely does not work like a to do list that you can tick off and move on to the next task or fork in the road. Life is unpredictable, it so not a romance novel or a TV series where the "good one" somehow always win. It has moments of heart wrenching sadness and exhilarating happiness all wrapped up in lessons that we try to learn from.

Life can get messy and sometimes lonely even when you are surrounded by hundreds of people. It can also be filled with exasperating adventures and "chapters" waiting to be explored.

I realize that in this life if you are everything to everyone, you may end up being nothing to yourself.

So take the time to find your joys and embrace it, whether its climbing a mountain or sitting on a park bench with a good book. Take time to do it, share it with someone special.

Take time to live for the moments of right now, cause tomorrow or next week might not come.

Writing my BOOK

I love to read, I can literally spend hours in the thrills of a good novel and completely cut the world out so that the characters and I can embark on a journey together. I have a very visual imagination so I often find that it would put it into pictures hence I am not picky about endings as long as at the end I can feel like “I got it”, like I understood the plot.

Little Me

Lately I have been thinking of life (my own) as a book; with all its chapters culminating various stages, highlights and lowlights of my 27 years on this planet. Granted this is not as long as most, but I sure have learnt a thing or two.

It would have to starting with my first fond memories of garden tea parties when I was 4, through to my peculiar child hood where I have always had an opinion and a mother who would listen to my every entertaining word – when I was 7/8 I refused to go to bed at bedtime because I felt that my brain didn’t need all the hours of sleep and I would become so animated in my theory that my parents would just let me stay up.

Through my odd days as a teenager, I was not a difficult teen  but I was definitely always different -  I preferred  a good book over parties, drugs or boys.  There is a part of me now that thinks I have taken the world way too seriously before my time and another that is grateful that I have somehow always known myself enough to know when to stop, step ahead or step away.  

My journey from18 to now would be the bulk of it; because here I have learnt about love (the kind that does not change or falter), loss (as no-one lives forever), sacrifice (the art of walking away), friendships (the kind that deals with shit and still stands) and to chase my dreams even if it takes me a little longer to get there. 

I am not sure which chapter I am on right now however I think turning 28 in a few months will probably require a few new priorities. 

It promises to be interesting! 

Thinking.....

My "REVELATION"

I do not want to sound philosophical about life and death but both are fickle things, you think you have it figured out one minute then in the blink of an eye it topples you over for a 10 and you left thinking 'what now?".

I don't think we ever really get it figured out. We deal, we manage and we get on with what needs to be done.

I have an uncle who is very ill at the moment and reflecting back on his role in my life i am struck by how powerful it has been. I remember him as a rough, rouge of a man with a personality that could literally fill a room. He use to barge into my bedroom when i was in my teens and demand to know how i am, he use to sneak me sweet when his wife wasn't looking and because he never had a daughter i always filled that role with giggles and hugs. I have always admired his ability to laugh at life and how he encircled his sisters and would do anything to protect them.

I have not seen him in a long time but on the phone i can tell that in the midst of his illness he has become sullen, like he knows something we don't.  It saddens me that life and the thought of death can do that to a man so brave however in my heart (somehow) i know that he will be okay and get through this stronger than before.

I also realize now that growing up i have been fortunate to have three fathers, one by blood, one by family and another by love. All of these men have played amazing roles in who i am today; they have loved me, laughed with me, nurtured me and supported every decision i have ever made.

Their lives have blessed mine!

Inhibitions

I couldn't say it better if I tried...

"If you're going to be passionate about something, be passionate about learning. If you're going to fight something, fight for those in need. If you're going to question something, question authority. If you're going to lose something, lose your inhibitions. If you're going to gain something, gain respect and confidence. And if you're going to hate something, hate the false idea that you are not capable of your dreams." ~Daniel Golston
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Simple Reminder

Today's reminder

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he/she is had to begin where he was."

Richard Louis Evans

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

It's all in the Art...

In my first year at University i had a lecturer that recommended we read the "Art of War" by Sun Tzu, i read it however at that particular time i did not understand the fuss or hidden meanings behind this ancient text. A few days ago i re-read it on a flight heading home and the one quote that jumps out at me is;

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”

I might be completely off the mark with what Sun Tzu wanted his warriors to remember but this has a two folded meaning for me. 

Firstly if you do not know the enemy you will lose as often as you win, all battles will be 50/50 and you will always fight with fear of the unknown, questioning tactics and power. However, if you know both yourself and the enemy perhaps you will win more because you would not be afraid to fight. Perhaps you will risk more because the reward will be personal. 

Secondly; it also speaks of the importance of knowing and understanding others in the battle where the conflict is theoretical and the war personal. If you've fought a battle where you gained a greater understanding of yourself and the other person, you've gained something greater than a mere win, and the outcome of the battle itself is irrelevant.

I think the greatest battles we fight in this life is with ourselves, we tend to be our worse enemies so perhaps if we master the art of self love then mastering the art of war would be easier. 

Snow in the backyard

Women's Day

I am very lucky to have been surrounded in this world with impecable women that have taught me how to live, how to love and how to keep fighting.

From my mother i have learnt to have courage and faith in the midst of any storm.

From my sister and cousins i have learnt how to laugh at the world and make lemonade when life hands me lemons.

From Melissa, Emma and Sabrina i have learnt that loving yourself is a precious gift, they are probably the only people i know that displays this whole heartedly in unwaved friendship.

An from the many women who have come into my life, stayed awhile and then graciously parted i have learnt that a women's strength lies in the battles she willingly fights and in her will power to overcome. That a women does not need to be loud to be bold or heard.

That her joy lies in the smiles of those around her and in the small way she can change lives.

Happy Women's Day too you all.

One step at a time

Clearing out my maze

Read an article called “Interior Motives” in the August Issue of O Magazine that made me think about my professional environment and how I engage in it.  Made me think of all the actual times I have said Yes when I was dying to say No, the many times I have been polite when I really didn’t want to be and the countless hours I have wasted in conversations I really did not want to be in.

I realised reading through those pages that I actually needed to clean up my agenda, take a constructive step back and re-evaluate the battles I fight and those I walk away from. Easier said than done (I know) but I am starting small and hopefully it will lead me out of the Lady Macbeth maze in my head.  

So if you hear me say No more often than before bare with me because this is my truth and I would rather be blunt than be exhausted by hypocrisy.  If I don’t engage in a conversation with you don’t take it personally because I may just have nothing enlightening to say.

As I journey on this new road of telling the truth I will unconsciously be steered away from fake people and my circle may become smaller but that is a price I will willingly pay for inner peace. 

A thought

"Life is available only in the present. That is why we should walk in such a way that every step can bring us to the here and the now."

Thich Nhat Hanh
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

A moment of HOPE

I read a blog by Jeff Goins tonight and it reminded me that in an unjust world there will always be things that we cannot understand; things live violence, death and loss so to get through every trial we need to step out in faith and rely on God to get us there (wherever there might be).

In essence as crazy as it may sound we will never be taken on roads/ journeys that aren't meant for us, the more i see and live in this life i realize the truth in this.

It's evident that we live in trying times and its also crystal clear that we need too "Lean not on our own understanding".

Let us take HOPE away from every situation, test or trial because tomorrow will be better than today and in it we will surely find a new lesson.

Today's thought...

Things i have Learnt along the way

I am always amazed at how we change over time, how what was important yesterday ceases to bother us today. With that in mind I have been thinking about the lessons I have learnt from the past.

Here are a few that stand out for me.

1. I have learnt that Pride is a fickle thing and can steal precious time, so always take a moment to say sorry and to reflect on the past so you can appreciate the present.

2. Money is like water, there will be spells of drought and times of floods. So spend it wisely and NEVER let it become your ruler.

3. Don’t rush to get to your destination because you may just miss the views and lessons on the road. In the detours i have learnt some of my greatest lessons yet.

4. Take the time to fall in love, its value is greater than we give it credit for and in it lies many lessons about life, sacrifice and devotion that cannot be taught in books.

5. Scream when you must, cry when you have too and laugh as much as you can because the older we get the more we realise how serious we once were.

6. As cliché as it may sound, the moment is all there is. The worries, lists and plans for the future are all distraction that hinders us from fully living. So throw them out and cease the moment, you might be amazed at where it leads you.

7. Be comfortable in your own skin; it’s the only one you have so embrace the curves, love what you have and the rest shall follow.

8. Regardless of what behavioural science say you can’t motivate people, the best you can hope for is to inspire them to act based on your actions.

9. There are great joys of this world that do not cost a cent so don’t take them for granted; to me they are reading a good book, taking a long walk, having an engaging conversation, getting lost in the smell of the ocean or a breathtaking sight and of course a good hug.

10. Failures are the stepping stones to success, without them their will have been no trials so do not let your fears stop you from trying.

I know that life has many more lessons to teach me and I look forward to embracing them all, one day at a time.

Thought of the day...

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

Albert Einstein
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

From the Street....

I love this one!!

A reason, a season or a lifetime?

Been thinking of the many people who have come and gone in and out of my life over the past 27 years, now I realise how very necessary each of them were. Some came for reasons, some stayed a season or two and a few have given me a lifetime of memories.

A number of them came into my life when I was confused and showed me the way or directed me on a different path, some came into my life to mirror the roads not to take and share their scars. A few came to contribute to my reflections of self and the world while others came to invigorate my minds and teach me to dream bigger and be bolder.

Many came for a season or two; to take me through a test, a trial, to share in my joys and sorrows for that particular time period. Then subtly they or I would move on and find new roads and lives to contribute too, a unique cycle of life.

There are those very few who last a lifetime; for me they are the ones who I share a silent bond with even if I don’t talk to them often. They tend to be the ones I turn to in sadness, the ones who know what I love to drink and hate to eat. The people I share my adventures and my somewhat crazy “PLANS” with.

I realise that with all of my “a reason, a season or a lifetime” kind of friends I share uniquely fond memories of different times, different places and a somewhat different version of me.

In HERE lies truth...

Thought for the Day

"You will get what you want, when you stop making excuses on why you don't have it."

Author Unknown
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Today's Reminder...

Life and Light

When i saw the picture for some reason it made me thing of the a verse on Annie where she sings... "The sun'll come out Tomorrow, Bet your bottom dollar that Tomorrow there'll be sun! Just thinking about Tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow...."

With that i realize that Life isn’t a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘Woohoo WHAT A RIDE’!

Cycles of Poverty

A few days ago I met a young man from a township just outside of Klerksdorp; we had a conversation for about two hours while he showed me some of his community.

I have seen many townships in my life and have lived most of my childhood and teen years on the Cape Flats so I am no stranger to poverty and hardship however I found seeing it through his eyes interesting and more real than I had imagined.

This young man through his articulate words took me through a short journey of his life and daily struggle to keep his head above water; he showed me the outside taps and toilets his family has to share with 2 other households. He took me through the dusty streets so I can see where some of his neighbours need to leave their dirt because there hasn’t been refuse collection in years.

He showed me his neighborhood in the rawest form and after some prying on my part he shared with me his story of being raised by a single mother and how he has tried to get out of the rut he finds himself in. Work is scarce and he could not get into a university because his mother (who is the only family provider) cannot afford it. His family struggles to keep their house, pay their bills and still have a meal each night.

This young man has never heard of a study loan and before i came along no one has ever discussed FET options with him, he didn’t even know that there was an FET college 30 minutes away in the nearest town.

In the middle of this conversation I came to realise that he like so many of the other teens I have had the opportunity to engage with over the last few months were uninformed and left to fend for themselves in a somewhat unjust world. They are somehow set on cycles of poverty that they will not get out of unless they start to think beyond the borders of their safe communities.

Standing there in his community I couldn’t stop thinking of a quote by John Green, where he says “There is no Them. There is only facets of Us”. This young man and the many others i have met and know by name reminded me that there will be no great reward without taking great risk; so i hope that in the years to come i will get to see some of them again and they would have lived beyond the cycles.

Among my John Mayer favorites...

This one made me think..

"There are two types of Pain in this world: Pain that hurts you, and Pain that changes you!"

Author Unknown
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Thought of the Day

"Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you."

Jim Rohn


Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Reflections...

My adaptation of Words to Live By

ONE... Give people more than they expect and do it with a smile on your face, because your cheer might be all that they know for that day.

TWO... Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE... Don't believe everything you hear or read, life can sometimes be over exaggerated.

FOUR... When you say, 'I love you,' make sure you mean it and say it as often as you can.

FIVE... When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye and do it because you mean it.

SIX...  Don’t rush life, it will happen even if the timing does not coincide with your plans. God sometimes has different ones for us.

SEVEN... Believe in love even if your heart has been shattered before, it’s all part of the lesson.

EIGHT... Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE... Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN... In disagreements, fight fairly and stand your ground if it’s something you believe in.

ELEVEN... Don't judge people by their relatives, if you do you may miss out on knowing someone great.

TWELVE... Talk slowly, think quickly and learn fast.

THIRTEEN... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN... Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk, so don’t let fear hold you back.

FIFTEEN... Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze because we all need some blessing now and then.

SIXTEEN... When you lose at something, don't lose the lesson from having been there.

SEVENTEEN... Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN... Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. Life is too short to hold onto grudges, you life today and you might be gone tomorrow.

NINETEEN... When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY... Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice and they might need it.

TWENTY- ONE... Spend some time alone to reflect, to review and when needed to make plans so you can redo.

Roads...

I love this picture!

 Getting lost on a gravel road early Saturday morning somewhere around Vredendal for a few hours hoping it leads back to town :-), loved it.... 

The Help

A month or so ago while on holiday i read "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett and for some reason the book has stuck in my subconscious. Four other books later i am still thinking about the journey it took me on. 

Subsequently i have been asked to review the book so here are some highlights from a satisfying read.

I found it to be sad and emotional but a very real in your face reflection of how people had their dignity stripped away from them and how all of that was viewed as acceptable.  The book has the scary ability to pull you into its pages and  the writer captured the era flawlessly.  You could feel the shame, happiness and fears leap off the pages as you reading it.

In the beginning when Skeeter takes on this journey to write the stories of the colored women in her town i don't think she thought that in the process she will also find herself and that is exactly what happens as you read on.  

The book is filled with self discovery as the women in it take risks and in the end you can clearly see "change is coming". With the quirks and humor you also see love, bitterness and dedication as these women soldier on because they have mouths to feed and "white babies" to raise. 

In my personal observation and conversations with others who have read the book i have discovered that if you have a domestic worker or if you know someone that spends their days cleaning up after others this book subconsciously forces you to rethink your behavior towards them. Forces you to consider their burdens too. 

It is a definite good read and you will walk away wiser for each chapter that you dive into. 

Some fun in the Sun..

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Little Joys..

A reminder to enjoy the little things that this life has to offer, to enjoy the good friends and to learn from the bad ones (for each has a tale to tell). 

In every day...

Idle thoughts on a crazy day...

Ernest Holmes said " Any thought which tends to inspire, to comfort and to give peace to the mind is good".

On this Wednesday afternoon my thoughts lead me directly to the need for my warm bed (in the midst of this chilly day) and a steaming cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkles. Oh what simple pleasures my heart desire.

However looking to my desk; i see my preparation notes, and reading material (that i need to read for what i imagine is the 10th time in the hope that the facts stick or i don't come across too nervous). I can see emails popping up reminding me that someone needs an urgent reply or for me to take them through a computer system that is just not working.

So Mr. Holmes i wish it was that simple.

On-Route (Njia): Being more....

On-Route (Njia): Being more....: Someone once told me that "you need to be more of what you want to see in the world, that will make it better". Safe to say at that point ...

Being more....

Someone once told me that "you need to be more of what you want to see in the world, that will make it better".

Safe to say at that point in my life i did not understand the expression or what my very philosophical friend meant by it, I just thought she was being her whimsical self with her anecdotes on life.

But today while doing some preparation work (for my own big step) her words resonated with me once more; "you need to be more of what you want to see in the world..." from this i take that if i want to see goodness and light in this world i need for it to start with me and what i project to the world.  If i want great adventures and new beginnings i need to be open to them, be open to taking a chance and risking it a little.

Not an easy task i know.

As crazy as it may sound this expression reminds me that my projection of life and light to the world will somehow be projected back into my own life, it may not happen in the ways i expect nor will it happen  overnight but it will happen.

I know that i cannot miraculously change the world but my thoughts and my deeds can make it better.

Todays thought

Examine the contents of your life and not the bottle that you think it comes in...

Trial and Error

I have always been told that the lesson is in the journey and not the destination. The journey is what builds your character, it is what reveals your strengths and weaknesses. Only when we are brave enough to take road less traveled can we discover who we are.

Sometimes we need to be bold and take time to try!

Made me think........

Perspective

It does not take much to be kind,
yet we shy away from it
because somewhere along the line kindness has been mistaken for weakness.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life.
Where they seem half asleep even if they're busy doing things
that they think are important.

This is because they're chasing the wrong things.

The way you get meaning into your life is
by devoting yourself to loving others (whether they love you back or not),
by devoting yourself to the community around you (and not the one you wish you could have)
by devoting yourself to creating something that gives you purpose.

Life does not need to be perfect
in order for you to share it, its in the imperfections
that greatness is found after all.

So in order to find that meaning we all seek
we need to remember to love and to live
without the boundaries, the questions or the regrets.

Olly Murs - Dance with me tonight

I love this song, its one of my current favorite tunes. A bit of a cross between old and new (reminds me of swing - not that i was born in that era) ,it is one of those i cannot help but dance too!!! 

Do it Anyway....

People are often unreasonable,

illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Teresa 

A little reminder for us all to "do it Anyway" because our relationship with man (each other) is important yet futile but our relationship with God is essential. 

Endless Possibilities

A few weeks ago I attended my Graduation and before the 2 hour procession  I had a chat with a gentleman in a very long line while hunting down our graduation gowns. He was very kind and listened as my nerves got the better of me, he smiled and very confidently said “don’t worry this is only the beginning of greater things”.

A few minutes later gowns in hand we wished each other good luck and parted ways.

Close to the end of the graduation procession they introduced the Doctorate Candidate, to my surprise this was the very same young man that was in the line with me. Upon his introduction they mentioned that he suffers from Dyslexia  and for the last 11 years has been working towards this mile stone in his life, which he reached (with Cum Laude).

The first humble words from his mouth was “without God this would not have been possible” and as I sat their listening to him recall his journey I realised just how right he was because without Gods grace and the people he sends our way at different trying times many of our achievements would not be possible.

This also had me reflecting on the hard roads we often need to take to find ourselves in this world. On what we need to give up in order to move on; on how we sometimes need to first fail and fall in order to learn and rise.

The message to me was somehow clear that in the end its all possible when you believe a little more and push a little harder.

Attitude of Gratitude

A moment of Reflection 

In 2010 I read an article by Bob Teague about having gratitude and an attitude that is open to it, I still don’t agree with some of his analogies of third world countries but now two years down the line I understand his message.

We tend to live our lives in ruts; unsatisfied with our jobs, hating our neighbours and questioning whether every decision we make “is the right one”. We are so caught up in our systems and getting them to work that we forget we have the gift of living this life while many may not be so lucky.

Bob Teague wrote; “So every morning stop for a few minutes and reflect upon the many blessings that you have now. Think about the wonderful family and friends that surround you, the opportunities that you have simply by the lottery of being born in this country.”

Even though the country of my birth is still developing and finding its feet I agree with him; we are indeed blessed and have come a long way from a past with division, segregation and hate to this one filled with hope. We may not be a wealthy nation but in all my travels I have not seen a happier one, we laugh through heartache and we persevere through tears.

The message is simple, we need to start having an attitude of gratitude where we appreciate the things and people we do have in our lives. So look around, take a moment and thank the powers that be for your blessings. 

So True....

Synergy

I have always been a student, it has somehow been what defines me and as my graduation draws closer I realize that my life has done a paradigm shift without me realizing it.  

What was important in my teens and early twenties don’t give me sleepless nights anymore, I am over trying to be liked or wanting to fit in. I no longer spend my time people pleasing or goal searching.

I spend it living and doing instead of just dreaming.

I take long walks and occasionally find myself speaking to strangers in the supermarket line, the stranger part of it all is that I enjoy it.

Don’t get me wrong my dreams are still here and I still chase them with vigor and determination however somewhere in-between i have come to realize that they don’t define me as much as how I define myself. 

My synergy in life has changed, i realize that i am more powerful than i have ever given myself credit for because slowly but surely i have matured into me. This 'me' may not be the same as the one you know but its okay because it comes with a whole new chapter to discover. 

A little reminder.....

Sometimes we need to look a little deeper, think a little longer and live a little more!! 

On-Route (Njia): AHA, finding it.....

On-Route (Njia): AHA, finding it.....: At some point in our lives we have all looked for signs; signs on whether we have made the correct choice? signs on whether we can do the jo...

AHA, finding it.....

At some point in our lives we have all looked for signs; signs on whether we have made the correct choice? signs on whether we can do the job? signs on whether this is it.....

Our search for some divine intervention for that little bit of courage to push on is endless. 

This morning i stumbled onto this picture and it resonate that "This is it", sometimes we cannot see the signs because we are too strung up in the actions or have a preconceived notion of what the sign should be. 

Unfortunately these signs may never come in the ways we want them to, so don't spend all of your time looking for signs that might be right in-front of you; live your life, learn new things, love even when it hurts and soldier on. 

If it ends up being the wrong road start over and consider the past lessons and stepping stones to greater things, this is it afterall. 

Today i see

I usually don’t read forwarded messages because somewhere close to the end it always says something about passing it on or you will have years and years of bad luck and the suspicious side of me hates tempting fate that way.

However this morning I received a very interesting forwarded messages from a friend about a blind boy who sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.  

He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."  

There were only a few coins in the hat and as a man was walking by, He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the  sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up.  A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

Later that afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were going with the boy and the boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning?  

What did you write?" 

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it." 

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind while the second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.

Moral of the Story:  Be thankful for what you have.  Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively because when life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. 

Face your past without regret and handle your present with confidence while preparing for the future without fear, because it holds nothing that God cannot help you through.  

Take time to remember that the most beautiful thing in the world is to see a person smile and knowing that you are the reason behind it in some little way.

Life is indeed a gift.....

Women

Never underestimate a women

We may not all look alike;  

some of us have legs that go on for days and Hips that tell their own story. 

We are filled with different colours and decades of life experience  

but do not be fooled by our grace for our strength is beyond your imagination.

We smile through tears, 

we laugh through heartache and we embrace grieving as the path to healing.

We wear our hearts on our sleeves 

and because we are so special God saw us fit to carry his greatest gift in our wombs. 

We are blessed to bring life into this world and spend our entire lives protecting, nurturing and learning

Unlike any man will ever do we have fought for equality of race, gender and opportunity in heels and with our dignity intact.

We are not defined by the clothes on our back or the language we speak. 

We are defined by what is inside

For in us you find courage , grace and strength. 

So regardless of what you are told in this life, as women we do indeed rule our world. 

Happy International Women's Day 

Someone like You - Adele

I love this song.

Reminds me of life, love and new chapters. 

Roads not taken and journeys we encounter on the ones we do take. 

And jeez can this women sing, love it!!

My quote for the day

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

– Steve Jobs

A bit of a reminder that we all have the power to do great things and that today is the best day to get started on what you truly want to become.

On-Route (Njia): Reflections at Nomndeni

On-Route (Njia): Reflections at Nomndeni: Stream in the backyard At this present moment I am sitting in a workshop on the outskirts of Nelspruit, having the cool breeze drift i...

Reflections at Nomndeni

Stream in the backyard 

At this present moment I am sitting in a workshop on the outskirts of Nelspruit, having the cool breeze drift into the window beside me. How lucky am I that I got to wake up this morning, stand on the balcony and see the sun rise over the nearby stream and hear the birds chirping away.

I am amazed by how peaceful it is out here and how the air just smells crisp even though there has been no rain, everything is greener and I can see these little creatures on nearby tree branches with no concern in the world.

This tends to highlight the wonder of mother nature to me and how simple it all seems in this complex world of ours.

In this day and age we tend to make our own lives difficult with the constant demands on our time, the rush, the hurry and the digital wave where we go no-where without our Blackberry, Tablets or Notebook.

In all of this haste we forget to live and admire the beauty.

I urge you to take the time to enjoy the grass between your toes, to admire God’s creatures (big and small), to enjoy good food,  to take time to pray/ reflect, to love (just for the sake of it) and too live this life and not wait for the next.

Today is it, so enjoy it! 

Let them dream, let them live

I see so many parents trying to mould their children into little versions of themselves, pushing their little ones into dreams that they themselves could not fulfil and forgetting that the child needs to find his/her own dreams in this world.

Kahlil Gibran says it perfectly;

Your children are not your children. 

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. 

They come through you but not from you, 

and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. 

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts. 

For they have their own thoughts. 

You may house their bodies but not their souls, 

for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. 

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. 

For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday. 

Kahlil Gibran

So let us not use our children in this life to live our dreams but rather encourage them every day so that they know they can live their own.   

Let us let them dream! 

"Gives good loving"

Freshly Ground - Pot Belly 

Regardless of how many times i listen to this song, it still gets me singing along after all these years :-) 

On-Route (Njia): Finding gratitude in the midst of my vanilla tea m...

On-Route (Njia): Finding gratitude in the midst of my vanilla tea m...: The last two weeks have been really crazy, hence I am sitting back today with my steaming cup of vanill...

Finding gratitude in the midst of my vanilla tea madness

My Vanilla Tea  :-)

The last two weeks have been really crazy, hence I am sitting back today with my steaming cup of vanilla tea to reflect on some of this madness.

Work has been a constant rush of meetings, deadlines, documents and excel spread sheets. The constant “hurry hurry” of it all just never seems to end. My days and night time dreams have been plagued by rushing from one point to another.

This week I am taking back my sanity, one step at a time. I am no systems slave and I refuse to sit here hating every minute of it.  From here on out I am focussing on my gratitude list, this week I am grateful for;

• GOD who never forsaking my needs and knows my hearts desires better than I do
• Family (as crazy as they may be),
• LOVE that always seems to amaze me just when I think I have seen it all,
• My home (that I get to share with the most loving man in the world, even when he gets on my nerves ),
• My life experiences (because without them I would not be who I am today), 
• Good food and wine (because it feeds my soul), 
• People who have done me wrong because from them I have taken the lesson of truth and learnt to FORGIVE,
• Good Education because with it has come a sense of liberation that I cannot even begin to explain.

I am also so very grateful for the many things that are still to come in this life; those planned, those surprises and those set out for me by a higher power. 

On-Route (Njia): MOM

On-Route (Njia): MOM: When I was younger I was very sure I was adopted cause I am nothing like my brother and sister but now years later and many moon wiser I r...

MOM

When I was younger I was very sure I was adopted cause I am nothing like my brother and sister but now years later and many moons wiser I realise that I am indeed my mother’s daughter.

A small tribute to my mom for the many years...

My mom is a bit of an eccentric

Her spirit is wild, free and her advice comes without a fee.

She has taught so many lessons;

about love, life and patience

about growth, forgiveness and peace

Her strength is unimaginable,

she has lived through segregation,

a broken home and an unappreciative husband

Yet her spirit is still intact

And her relationship with God remains a journey she takes on with a smile.

Her home has at some point been refuge

To the homeless and to the broken

She has cooked her meals with love

and with the little she has i have seen her feed every one of her family members.

My mom may not have changed the world for coloured girls like Oprah did, but for me my mom has led the way to greatness.

From her I take my poise,

I take my drive

and my open look on life.

From her I have learnt the beauty of life

and that being different is good
and being me is enough.