Life is about Chance

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will at some point.

That we will have our hearts broken and will sometimes break the hearts of others. That we may fight with our best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and at some age or stage we will all cry for time wasted or lost.

So do yourself a favor and take many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt before.

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances and you just have to live life to the fullest.

Tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off if you have been wishing to do so for years. Speak out, dance in the pouring rain like no one is watching. 

Hold someone's hand, take time to comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts.

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

The Road Not Taken

As a teenager i have always had a secret obsession with Poetry, the fact that words can capture moments in time and make it endless.

The Road not taken by Robert Frost is among those that i just cannot help but love.  

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost

The Festive Buzz

I find myself hating the rush that comes with the festive season, the money people waste on idle things. Having spent the last few days setting up our tree and trimmings, I find myself in deep thought about Christmas and its true meaning.

When I was a little girl I always found it to be magical, the constant laughter and excitement in our house around this time of the year. My cousins, aunts and uncles all coming by to say “hi” and wish each other well. I remember for all of my childhood on Christmas mornings I would wake up at the crack of dawn and watch the lights on the tree and enjoy my mom’s banter as she begins preparing for the family lunch.

A Jewish friend once said Christmas is like any birthday party you’re invited to. It may not be your birthday, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the party and celebrate!”

Around the world people will be celebrating the spirit of Christmas by giving gifts and in the rush we forget that we were already given the greatest gift of all Jesus himself, a newborn baby. A reminder that life for each of us is priceless, unearned, and miraculous. And the best way to say “thanks” for our own miracle is to love one another.

Christmas is a time of reflection and appreciation for the things accomplished both big and small. 

Being Thankful for LIFE

Every year at this time we are reminded of the things we are thankful for – family, friends, health, good fortune; this year in addition to all of these things, I am thankful for something else – Life.

It may sound odd, to be thankful for life because it seems something so natural but as I think back to all those who have lost their lives this year I am even more grateful to still be here. There is a sullen truth to the fact that we do not know when we will see our last sunrise, smell the fresh crisp air after the rain or get to embrace those we love. Death can come sudden and it does not ask for age, a list of accomplishments or references. 

Life does indeed end as miraculously as it began in the womb.  

This being said i take some joy in the fact that those who pass on don’t just leave us behind;  like we carry the memories of them in our hearts, from where ever they may be they forever remain watching (celebrating our successes and helping to get us up when we fall).  

I realize now more than ever that Life is a gift to us, it is our chance to love, laugh and live. 

The power of the "Box" and a sleepless night

I seem to have a new neighbor moving into the apartment above me at this hour, as crazy as it may sound he/she is moving around furniture with the aid of some loud music and noisy company so i am forced to catch up on watching news and some television while the rest of the world slumbers.  

Though I think that the news and television content is driven largely by what society wants to know, I can't help but feel that it has a negative influence as well because it desensitizes people to many immoralities and atrocities. It portrays so much violence and cruelty and makes it seem so tidy.  

A recent study showed that by the time students graduate from high school, children who watch TV a normal amount of time will have seen thousands of realistically enacted murders, beatings, rapes, robberies and terrorism. Shows like "CSI" show graphic scenes of gore that have desensitized people to the gruesome. Basically, it is hard to shock anyone anymore.  

Those who say TV is not powerful enough to influence people and that children understand it is entertainment are kidding themselves. Advertisers pay millions for a 30 second TV spot? Because they know that TV can influence our buying decisions, our taste in clothes and food. TV has made certain behaviors socially acceptable (e.g. the promiscuity in "Friends" that would have scandalized people only a few years earlier)

That being said TV could work its power for good, but who will be the arbiter of what is good?  

Having some fun in the sun!!

"Cape Town, with a little bit of flair" 

My motivation for the day

I will love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies.  


For You will light my lamp; The LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.

Psalm 18:1-3,28,35 

 "Just what i need to start this uncertain day with, it is amazing how just when we need intervention or a reminder that we not in it alone" 

Frustration Just Ahead

Today i am hoping that if i write my frustrations down it will help me feel better, so here we are:

I am frustrated by the waiting for my portfolio marks and worrying if I pass all of them. I am frustrated with the world and all its constant wars, death and lack of humanity that we all do nothing about.

I am frustrated by people and how easily they break one another’s spirits, how they pass on their insecurities and inadequateness into the lives of those around them.

I am frustrated by my own indecisive about the future; should i do this Honours in Journalism? Should i take the year off? Should I, Should I..... too many options and too little time.

Frustrated by my job, even though I am immensely grateful to have one where I am still helping people all be it indirectly. I can’t help feeling that this is not my calling, it doesn’t motivate me to get out of bed in the morning, it doesn’t bring me the kind of joy i seek.

I feel numb, unappreciated and tired. This might be the end of the year “blues” getting the best of me but as far fetched as it  may sound my body, mind and spirit yearns a holiday without stress or any of the frustrations life brings.  

All of this being said i know that i am frustrated by external factors outside of my control as well as internal factors that i can control if i worked at it. I know that i need to simplify and extradite the noise in my life so i can redefine my balance.....Yes all these things i know however right now I yearn silence and none of the complexities of the world, a book and my sofa for a few days and i will be right as rain. 

The end of one road, the beginning of another!!

This week a very good friend and university class mate set off for a new adventure, the island lifestyle in the land of smiles she tells me. She packed up her life, sold everything she owned and headed off to Phuket in pursuit of her dream and bring her closer to owning a B&B on an island somewhere.

It then dawned on me that since we have all finished our final exams and handed in our final portfolios this really marks an ending to a chapter in our lives.We have spent 4 years (on and off) many times thinking we would not make it being bombarded with assignments, having full time jobs and lives.

I am so proud of her and all the other people i have been privileged to spend these years with and call friends.  We have shared so much laughter, cried together at loss and spent so many weekends working on deadlines (right now it seems like it was ages ago).

On this journey we have learnt to live without regrets and  to get up whenever we get knocked down by a bad grade or a stint of gossip. We have learnt to nurture friendships and value good relationships. Getting here has made it very clear to all of us that nothing is impossible as long as you keep working at it. 

On a personal note, the future looks exciting (I foresee many new journeys and learning curves just around the corner). 

The road to get here has been long and winding with many breaks in between but as i think back its been worth it.

Today's Thought

"Life is a long lesson in humility" 

James M Barrie 

It may not always be easy to see but everything in this life is there to teach us something different. It might be how to live, how to treat our fellow human beings, how to love or even just simply how to believe. 

"JOY"

This morning driving to work i was reminded that "Joy" can be found in the most simplistic things, it's all in how we look at it. The Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore once wrote: 

And Joy is Everywhere;
It is in the Earth's green covering of grass;
In the blue serenity of the Sky;
In the reckless exuberance of Spring;
In the severe abstinence of gray Winter;
In the Living flesh that animates our bodily frame;
In the perfect poise of the Human figure, noble and upright;
In Living;
In the exercise of all our powers;
In the acquisition of Knowledge;
in fighting evils...

Joy is there Everywhere.

 

The JOYS of my youth

Been asked recently what is the greatest thing I have ever done??? This made me think as far back as my 26 years on this earth would let me, jeez what have I done...what am I doing...and what am leaving behind if I go.

So hence here I sit trying to recall the many joys of my youth and put them into articulate sentences.

I have been blessed enough to travel some of the world; England, Norway, Denmark, Amsterdam, Germany, Russia, Tibet, Australia and every province that my South African home has provided me with.

I have slept on trains heading to destinations I to this day cannot even pronounce, I have sang and danced in cultural festivals, been to many temples and churches across the globe. I have sat with friends on a boat drifting on the Sandefjord river, watching the sunrise.

I have built relationships that have stood the test of time and distance, I have seen the effects of wars and genocide first hand. I have worked in refugee camps, spent my time at the Blue Cross and had my religious awakening in the company of one of the most enlightening religious men I know.

In my youth I have had the opportunity to find myself, to define my own space and live within it. To see the world as both big and small, to change lives and have my own transformed in the process.

I have cried great tears of heartache and just as many of joy and passion.I have lived without regret or the defines of my culture, race or creed.

So the greatest thing I have ever done is to find myself and it would not have been possible without all the experiences and all of the people along the way. 

Lets see what happens with the next invite......

Say what!

My disconnect

Feel a bit like i am drowning at the moment,disconnected from my world and the balance of it all!

So much university work and having spent the last few weeks in the field i just feel so tired,the end of the year "blues" i am told. The 11 of November could not come quicker so that a sense of normality can return to my world, multi tasking just isn't working.

Looking forward to the bliss of reading a book in the comfort of my bed, without a text book in sight. Looking forward to a late night dinner,without the nagging feeling of wasting time that i could have spent writing that article.

My boyfriend (bless his soul for all the late night coffees) must be looking forward to not having to listen to my many theories of corporate communication and my late nights sitting with marketing designs.

The end of this chapter is near, a few more late nights to go and ill have a tale to tell. It definitely wasn't easy but in the ends its been worth it!

My ideal WORLD

"A little venting on my side as i sit and wait for a meeting to happen"

As i sit here waiting for my next meeting i cannot help but wonder is all this talking really necassary; it does not get the job done at the end of the day does it...

The same things get discussed over and over to a point where i am left thinking to myself; am i the only one that remembers this discussion from a month ago.

I wish to live in a world "my ideal one" where there is no mundane meetings, were everyone knows what to do and they do it. A world were there is no greed, no backstabbing and no wasted moments. My own little world of sunshine, rainbows and cotton candy :-)

A world where people are socially and morally accountable for their actions however big or small, a world were Justice and Peace are not just words we use but actions we live by. 

If i ruled the world there would be none of this procrastination, none of this endless words we use to bring across simple points.

Lets just be glad i don't rule the world because it would be boot camp thats for sure!!

Zoo Lake at its BEST

"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is." 

E.E Cummings 

 

Silent battles

Helpless at WAR

Sunday i spent some time reading a Palestinian newspaper and my heart bled for all those whose stories are not being told, for all those who live in fear every single day.  Having celebrated Youth Day in South Africa makes the need to stop the silence even more real for me.

Every newspaper over the globe has at some point written an article on how either side have a tale to tell.  My concern is not who is right or who is wrong; it is however about how many innocent people on either side will die for a battle that is not even there’s to fight in the first place.

Women and children are driven to flee their home, their lives and their families for fear of persecution or death. Educated Palestinians are forced to work for minimum wage and still pay the same taxes as Israelis do without any benefits, they are forced out of their homes to live in squalor and their schools are demolished for the fun of it. Their children are denied the right to education, health and freedom and they are kept silent by fear and those who are vocal are killed in the masses.

This is a silent genocide and how many will we let die in vain?

Many developing countries and religious groups look at this war and say “it is not theirs”  to intervene but if no one says anything and we all do nothing many more innocent people will die and those who fought vigorously  will have died for nothing. 

The fight for land is as old as time; you read of it in the bible and in roman mythology yet on these same scrolls there is also talk of peace, unity and a brotherly understanding “when nations meet”. I imagine leaders have in the hunger for power, the greed for money and in their arrogance forgotten that one unit (Nation) cannot function without the other.

It is time that the silence stops and leader stake responsibility, it’s time that peace prevails regardless of the past.

The little Citizen

Today the story of Losanda resonates with me; he is the little boy many Johannesburg newspapers refer to as “the boy with no identity”. I find this statement crude because he is but a child in a situation that he did not ask for and does not understand.

He has no family and has been abandoned since he was a toddler by a mother looking for better opportunities and greener pastures. His infant years he has spent travelling from house to house and for the last two years he finds himself home with Lucy Sello a pensioner from Slovoville.

He has no birth certificate and the women who brought him to the outskirt of rural Guateng has been deceased for the last two year. No one knows the origin of the Xhosa-Sotho speaking little boy and government officials are refusing to give him a birth certificate or recognise him as a citizen of this country.

It saddens me that our South African social security system is failing him and the many other little boys and girls that are out there in similar situations. It anger me that our country can spend millions on political campaigns and lush street parties, leaving women like Lucy Sello destitute and fighting a system they had no hand in creating.

I have been fortunate to meet this Gogo and what a remarkable women she is, reminding Losanda that he is not a subject nor is he lost because her home and the little she has is his. 

Your freedom should be mine too

The craziness of the build up to this elections is just too much.

Politicians are out campaigning every where you look selling promises and playing on emotions. The apartheid line has been out played, for how many more years are we going to blame colour and race for the situations we find ourselves in?

It angers me to my core that parties are playing on community colour loyalty (saying vote for your own people); to the Malema's of this world "isn't my people as South African as yours regardless of their colour?".

They fought the same struggle that you so often quote "as being your own", they died for freedom too. This freedom that you use and abuse so publicly. The freedom you milk dry with your lush parties and greed.

I think the blame games need to stop, that responsibility needs to be taken and leaders need to step up to the plate. They need to earn peoples respect and not demand it because of the party they represent.

Our blood is as red as yours and poverty effects us in our communities just like it does in townships.

Lets move beyond the stereotypes, otherwise we will always be living an apartheid that is only understood by those who created it and thrive on it's chaos.

Journey back

Sunday we took to the road for our journey back to "the City of Gold".

On this long drive i started thinking about 'home' and how over the years Cape Town has always been it for me. It has always been where i find peace, find family and memories.

However this trip has been a crude awakening of growing up for me. My childhood home seemed small, my family distant and the city i have always called home felt different. The memories i have there also seemed old and like a completely different part of my life.

I found myself missing my wooden floors, the noisy people next door and even the freak thunder storms of Joburg.

In retrospect if i sit and shift though my thoughts Cape Town hasn't changed, neither has my family. I am the one that has changed. My wants, my needs and my sense of responsibility. It made  me realize that home is where i make it, it is where i am and where i am happy because life is too short to live it bound by the past.

For as long as needs be this city i find myself in will be home for me. 

Beauty in simplicity

I have taken this drive many times however on each journey it never seems the same! 

Open Roads

It amazes me how tranqual the open road can be,so much freedom in the middle of nothingness.

I also see much wealth in the midst of diverse poverty on these roads.

Here is where racial divides is still alive and you can see it in the communities and hear it as clearly as years before!

The Girls

Morning view in Kroonstaf

Listening to the news on our way to Cape Town and i am angered by the ignorance of this countries politicians.

Jacob Zuma has offeted Gadaffi a home to retire too in South Africa, if this happens it will tarnish our reputation in the long run.

South Africa has so many people starving and homeless,with the money tax payers will be paying to host bigets like Gadaffi and support holigans like Malema we could be building homes and creating support systems that work.

I understand this countries need to be humanitarian however this should not blur our common sense between right and wrong

Hate speech at its best

Zipro

Both of these statements indicate that killing is okay and tolerated in this country as quoted by leaders in South Africa. I think we should be ashamed of ourselves for letting them have so much power to think they can make these statements and get away with it.

Political Limelight

We are a few weeks away from the Elections and political parties are at it again fighting for power and place.

Everywhere you go there are bill boards and chants as the tension among them all mount to see who walks away with which area and how many counsellors. Debates are also livening up as political parties bring out dirty secrets about their rivals and as they present racially unified fronts for their parties.

Manifestos have made their rounds speaking eloquently of the needs of the people; promising homes, proper service delivery and respect for all.  These things tend to be words on white paper, never seeing the light of day in the real world.

The real world where 4.3 Million South Africans are unemployed (Stats SA 2010) and poverty is the order of the day.  

The real world were almost 850 people die of HIV/ Aids every day (Avert, 2010 Report) and child headed households are increasing at an alarming rate.

The real world where police brutality is still allowed in a country that knows the traumatic consequences of these acts first hand, having lived through and era of apartheid and segregation.

In this country we have come a long way for freedom and it has come at a price. We have a democracy that our government does not fully understand or value and a country ruled by talkers and very few doers.

We need leaders that deliver on more than just words!!

Dante a "DIVA" in the making

They grow up so fast
The joys of being an aunt, tonight she insists that they call me because she has a story to tell me. We talk for a while and i ask her what the story was and she reckons "Oh i forgot but i miss you Ickey"  lol :-)

On-Route (Njia): Remembering those we sometimes forget

On-Route (Njia): Remembering those we sometimes forget: "Four years ago i set foot inside my first prison, the walls were narrow and the gates were high. I remember the smell of stale a..."

On-Route (Njia): Remembering those we sometimes forget

On-Route (Njia): Remembering those we sometimes forget: "Four years ago i set foot inside my first prison, the walls were narrow and the gates were high. I remember the smell of stale a..."

Morning Glory

This morning i woke up with an unbelievable sense of gratitude, a sense of peace and that all is right with my world.

So today i am grateful for:

My little bit of Morning Glory 

• the gift of a new day and being able to see it in all of its glory 
• for the musical good morning that greets me every day
• for the friends i have near and far 
• for the unconditional blessings and prayers 
• for family and the lessons in love that i learn from each and every one of them  

I am a very blessed young women, i don't have fame or fortunes but what i do have is enough and i believe that what is to come will only be much better. 

Remembering those we sometimes forget

Four years ago i set foot inside my first prison, the walls were narrow and the gates were high.  I remember the smell of stale air, a sense of hopelessness and the looks of the people saying the same thing. 

I walked in, filled with a bit of fear and a tinge of excitement because i have always wondered if South African prisons are like the ones in movies. It was nothing like the movies; the reality was far worse.

Even though I got to go home after every session, to this day I remember many of their stories.

Some there for crimes that they committed some for the sins of other and many silenced by gangs and the false sense of brotherhood it provides. There I witnessed how fast innocents can be stolen and easily freedom can be forgotten.

The youngest boy was 9, there for murdering someone with a butcher’s knife after being beaten countless times. The oldest 18 there for rape and murder after being so high, he had to prove a point of being “the man” to his friends.

Many of the stories i have heard resonates with me as i look around my surroundings and see the daily fight for survival. Many of them did not ask for the hand that they were dealt, some abandoned to a life on the street with no food or shelter. I am sadden when i think how many of them had their first encounter with the law for taking a bread without having the money to pay for it. Whenever i walk by a child on the street homeless and alone my heart bleeds because i remember the stories of how it began for many of them.

In my four years i have worked with hundreds of young men and women in conflict with the law and sadly many of them will never know true freedom because in prison a different death occurs. It is not the kind known every day by you and me, it is a death of the soul, a death of dreams and hopes because they go to jail as innocents, as children and there they learn a life of gangsterism.

My plea is simple; the next time you see a child on the street begging a hand out give them a meal. The next time you see a young man slipping through the cracks lend them a hand. 

On-Route (Njia): Inspiration in the strangest places

On-Route (Njia): Inspiration in the strangest places: "I have just spent the last few hours immersed in a tale about love, family, promises and the ultimate sacrifice. Yes i was watching Charlie ..."

Inspiration in the strangest places

I have just spent the last few hours immersed in a tale about love, family, promises and the ultimate sacrifice. Yes i was watching Charlie St. Cloud!

It made me realise that life is so short and can be taken from us and those we love in the blink of an eye. Yet through the good and the bad we always need to remain believers. We always need to keep on fighting if not for ourselves then for those who are too weary to do it for themselves.

Also highlighted the bonds of family and how in order to find peace not just for yourself but those around you, you need to let go of the past.

Not an easy task in life or death. 

On-Route (Njia): Remembering those who Liberated us

On-Route (Njia): Remembering those who Liberated us: "Today marks our Human Rights Day in South Africa, a day that many died for across this country. In order to know where we come from we need..."

Remembering those who Liberated us

Today marks our Human Rights Day in South Africa, a day that many died for across this country.

In order to know where we come from we need to remember them.This day is not just about freedom or any protesters, it is about Sharpville in particular and the men who gave their lives on the 21 March 1960,  it is about the lives of those who came before and will come after.

This day is about hope and people who chased a dream.

I think many of them knew when they embarked on that march they would not make it through the day but that did not stop them. They had in mind a future where men and women were treated as equal regardless of colour or creed. They wanted their brothers and sisters and their children to know that Freedom could be had.

They offered up their lives so we can live ours without oppression, they are the Heroes of this countries liberation  .

Our Human Rights did not come at the hands of a Political Party so lets not make it about that, it came from the hands of men and women who fought tediously so that we may live in this country as equal human beings and not master and slave.

So i salute the men and woman who died before they could themselves live in this freedom that they fought for   and i hope that some day our counties leadership can live up to the legacy of our Liberation Heroes.

On-Route (Njia): Stepping out of the BOX

On-Route (Njia): Stepping out of the BOX: "Many years into a democracy we still have students struggling to reach their full potential, we still have a government that fails the very ..."

Stepping out of the BOX

Many years into a democracy we still have students struggling to reach their full potential, we still have a government that fails the very people that put them into power in the first place.  

We still have a system of oppression, just silenced by the 21st Century. The lack of options for young people being evident everywhere you go.

Walking the streets you see so many begging, borrowing or joining a gang for that sense of belonging and achievement. It is sad that the great men and woman of our time fought tediously for freedom, a freedom that we should be enjoying and relishing in however many cannot due to poverty and lack of education.

With the world emerging from a global economic crisis, the demand for University education is higher than ever before. Unfortunately the rates of young people finishing high school is staggeringly low, only 36% of students that get to grade 12 from grade 11 manage to pass and unfortunately for many their grades cannot get them into a Tertiary Institution of their choice. (Source: The Municipal Outreach Project, January 2009)

The main reason learners give for not completing their matric is the inability to pay fees, bringing us the reality that poverty even 16 years into a democracy is very real. With over 10 million South Africans living on less than R250 per month and more than 60% of young people being unemployed.

Developing a nation of educated leaders is hard, however it is not impossible. In South Africa the problem is not the amount of money spent on our education system but rather the outcome of our education system.

Students just do not understand the curriculum, many of them are getting placed from one grade to the next without the ability to read or write. This is an injustice to them and their development, they are being deprived valuable skills and if by any luck they reach university they will suffer because you either make the grade or you don’t.

We all need to step out of these comfortable boxes of ours and realize that the future of this country lies in the emerging young people. As Africans we are beyond the handout phase of our development, therefore we should be making sure that our youth are competent enough to study anywhere, confident enough to know that they can do anything with hard work and compassionate enough to know that they not on this journey alone.

Life is too short to live it dictated by what you may or may not have

I could write a biography on my life and all the moments that don’t make much sense as I am sure so can you. In thinking about some of my travesties I have come to realize that it is those moments of weakness, fear, misunderstanding and the few of wisdom in between that have made me who I am.
Without these events in my life to draw strength, inspiration and understanding from I don’t know where I may have ended up. It is crazy how Gods plan for our lives work out in the end, how the misfortunes leads to blessing and weaknesses over time and years of practice become perfected.

I am amazed at the power of the human spirit in the midst of adversity and how it never takes what the world deals out lying down. How it keeps us fighting and the fire of possibility burning. As Rosa Parks all those many years ago refused to give up her seat on that bus as an indication of all the seas of our world uncertainty, we too continue the strive to find our place and make our mark. Our battles may have altered over time but we still fight the good for peace, justice and a world that caters for all and not an elite few.

We are powerful beyond means and need to start being this change that we so wish to see in this world and constantly speak of. It is time that we put into action our words and do something about them as the possibilities of this life is in the now. The foundation of our tomorrow is in our today.

Rekindling my citizenship

As I walk the many miles to individuality and discovering who I am in a world so filled with possession and plastic, am I an object, a subject or a citizen is the question niggling in the back of my head.
The world has made us immune to certain forms of suffering and even though I hate to admit it, sometimes this most horrific news only gets frowned upon with little or no action. As humans we go chasing possibilities of what could have been every opportunity we get. Our complex natures have us questioning everything, from the color of the sky to the amount of stars our galaxy possesses.

We often neglect to ask the really import question and find ourselves at the whims of others more often than we like to admit.

As I find myself in a very new environment, I have realized that my worth is not to be seen or accepted by others because their approval is not what will soothe my conscious. My worth does not deter theirs; it is not the beginning and end of who I am. My worth is my own, it is my journey and I am responsible for what I think of myself because it is that projection of my own thoughts and acts that will get me into the future I want.

So I muster up the courage and stamina to be at the helm of my own ship, with God directing the path and clearing the waters in His own unique way. I know that in essence His sites for me may not be my own but I am calmed by the realization that I am a citizen of the world and a vessel for some plan even greater than that I can imagine. That I am an individual comprised of my past, proud of my heritage and humbled by the men and woman that came before me and fought so vigorously so that I may live their dreams and create my own.

Latte in Colesberg

So this morning we pull into Colesberg at 6:45 and i am reminded of the divide between those who have and those who do not. You can still feel  sense of racial tendency in the air and feel in the looks from those passing by.

I am reminded of an Apartheid that i am way to young to even remember, but sitting here in a shop filled with white people looking at me as if i am "mad" makes it very real to me.

A few feet away a couple just got seated; his white but his wife is clearly not. The looks they get is even worse than the ones i get.

Isn't it crazy so far into a New South Africa and still the same

First Pit-Stop

So today i started a brand new part of my "life" journey, packed my bags in a car and headed on-route to Johannesburg. The excitement is still a buzz and as we pulled into our first pit-stop along the way i realised that even though it will not always be easy, it will definitely be worth it.

This move is not just about the different place or people, it is about coming into our own as individual, it is about taking the hard knocks and learning from each of it so that we can be the people we are intended to be.

I am excited by the possibilities, the optimist in me see's this as an opportunity to learn more and do better. I know the city will not always be great, nor will it be anything like Cape Town but i believe home is where i make it. It is where i get to be me every single day and not just on the off days.

The great thing about this life and this journey is that nothing is written in stone, when the paths change so does the learning!